Happy Tuesday everyone! I'm back in town from my motor home trip and have decidedly sat down among the scent of books and quiet of hardworking people at the library. Here, there exists a nostalgic place full of warmth and new experiences, hearkening back to a day and age where I was a little girl simply checking out books to read from the children's section. I felt drawn to this place since the day I got my first library card, and have had fond memories of it ever since.
How apt to do a card reading here amidst all the friendly thoughts and experiences that are housed in these ancient walls.
In the spirit of nostalgia, my deck revealed a card to me that has been blogged about already before (I know, 78 cards and this deck is already revisiting cards before I even draw 20 distinct cards to blog about). This card brings me back to the first couple of posts I have done on this blog--I have drawn the five of cards, once again reversed. This airy card has once more drawn towards me again, bringing me news about what exactly I must be experiencing for yet another time.
At the time I drew this card in June, I was in the middle of finals week in college, probably the most emotionally stressful time of my college career--not only did I have petitions to worry about for classes I previously had taken, but I also needed to pass the classes I was already in to graduate. And believe me when I say I needed to graduate. This was probably the most stressful time of my life.
As discussed previously, this card in reverse means that currently there is something experiencing conflict in my life, and this could be anything from a spiritual, emotional, physical, social conflict or an obstacle that has arisen to prolong struggle.
I had all this happen to me approximately more than a month ago. And then the struggle ended. What happened?
Thankfully, I passed my classes, got a pretty high GPA, graduated, and commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Army. Do I lose sleep over graduating college anymore? Do I agonize over my petitions being approved? Do I despair at having to see my apartment in shambles? No, thank goodness no! Its ended, and though I might have thought otherwise at the time, memories of panic and despair over graduation have no longer haunted me. And what a blessing! With the end of my problems, thus ends my panic, sorrow, depression and anxiety. I was able to overcome my obstacles and trials by graduating from college with all my petitions approved and all my classes passed. All the loose ends had been securely tied.
Since this usually happens with most conflict in people's lives, the whole cycle of stress, anxiety, triumph, and then relief seems to be the same for all forms of strife, wouldn't it be logical to eliminate all the pain in this situation and skip straight to the end result of relief?
I leave my readers to answer this for themselves--I don't believe that there is a 100% correct answer to that question. But I am more than happy to share my perspective on this if anyone needs more understanding.
The best thought stimulus is initiated when a thoughtful question is followed by another provoking question. If we were to think of this issue on a larger scale, wouldn't human life be better without pain at all? Forget only ridding the human population of worry and anxiety, what about getting rid of pain altogether? All sorrow, despair, anger, loneliness, struggle, stress, heartbreak, disappointment seems to only serve negative purposes in day to day life. Would we not be better without them?
Wrong! At least in my opinion. Even empty emotions like worry and stress can have purpose in human life. If I didn't get stressed out and worried about my classes I might have not put as much work into studying for my classes, or even studied at all (you procrastinators know what I am taking about more than anyone else).
Conflicts are very helpful in life because of how they develop us as human beings. Maybe it might not feel as good to be in the middle of serious struggle because during that moment of stress it is hard to understand the overwhelmingly positive effects, and healthy and mindful analysis in the heat of the moment takes understanding and patience at a very mature level. But afterwards, when all the drama is over, the benefits received are obvious.
Because I studied so hard I passed my finals and graduated. Since I called and contacted the petitions board regularly I was able to get my petitions approved relatively fast. But beyond the extremely evident results of my work, I also demonstrated a much more capable ability to work hard for what I want. I was able to buckle down and achieve because of my anxiety. I pushed myself to accomplish everything I needed to, and it whetted my appetite to succeed in future endeavors related to this. I also received a huge confidence boost, and was able to look at people I thought were better than me straight in the eye with resolve and soaring self-esteem. I was strong, and I for once in my life was aware of it.
So I understand much more about this card as a result of my past exposure to it--it doesn't only warn against ending a conflict by confronting the problem headfirst or calling quits and taking necessary actions towards ultimate happiness and stability. Whether it is an apology, a consolation, compassion, or in my case determined resolve, the end result of all the sacrifice demanded to end this conflict will grant me benefits and boons that outweigh what I had in my reserves already. I will always be better for it.
And I am sure this pain and exhaustion with conflict has been felt by readers near and far--I imagine some people might be in the heat of a heavily stressful and highly demanding battle right now. Regardless of what it is that is proving to be an obstacle in your life, it is time for you to seize the day, take charge, show mercy, and live to the best of your heart's capability. Enjoy life, even the downs, and take what you can from the experiences the world has to show you to. Good luck!