Single Card Reading 30 June 2015--Queen of Cups (reversed)

Good morning and happy Tuesday! Once more I have found my way to internet and wifi here on this RV campsite, and I am extremely grateful to be talking to all of you again. I miss my daily blogging habits, and will be sure to return to them once I get back home.

An update on my travels since I have spoken with you last--I have been pouring over my pintrest and twitter accounts, getting what little I can attached to the Tarot Daily accounts if any of you follow that. My little sister has just begun her journey in the college realm, and has chosen TCU (Texas Christian University) to be her home. We just finished the orientation yesterday, and I tell you! Two days filled from 8 am to 7pm with information about the school is the longest orientation I have ever heard of! But it just shows how much the school cares about its students and I am happy that my little sister has the opportunity to go to a place where the facutly and staff care so much.

I was mistaken as a student the entire time, though, which made me realize how young I must look still. Having graduated college at 20 years of age has left me with a youthful appearance that does not render thoughts of a recent graduate, but an incoming college student.

It was a learning experience to be mixed in the campus's throng of people, taking in the different perspectives and learning practices. This school was far different from my own though, and I was left a little shocked that colleges are not all liberal like UC Santa Barbara (not that I should really be all that surprised). I appreciate TCU's conservatism for my little sister, because I believe she needs something to give her a more structured perspective and a more constructed atmosphere. But, and I say this with pure intentions, I truly believe that UCSB made the difference to me, and provided things that I absolutely needed to learn and know. I probably wouldn't be the free-spirited, magic-loving, curious spirit that I am today without the constant exposure to everything through the rose-colored lens of the hippie-loving Santa Barbara lifestyle. And I will always miss the beach.

I might even be a little homesick of the place, and the growing disdain I had for living in Isla Vista has been replaced by a hollowness that used to house my favorite hiding places in downtown Santa Barbara or the little shop where I would go to buy my tarot decks. I do hope that my next living place will have me in a location where I can once more find hiding places and drift amongst the curious and spiritually deep philosophies and items of a new and emerging world.

Now! On with the reading today! I asked my deck and the spirits of goodness and light to show me answers to questions I both want answered and still do not know I have. When I drew the Queen of Cups, a familiar presence came over me and filled me with the flowing mysteries and mystic knowledge of the mermaid queen. I have drawn this card before, and like times where I draw a card multiple times, it becomes more and more natural for me to know what they try to tell me.

The Queen of Cups fills me with peace and deep understanding, especially as she stares at her cup, giving such extensive consideration to the content that hides inside. The Queen, being a female representation of the suite of cups, comes to symbolize emotion, feminine intuition, and a female spiritual insight that spurns from a motherly interest in worldly affairs. She sits at the cups of an ocean, her feet sitting on colorful pebbles and stones that have been softened and churned by the changing tides of the ocean. She holds a cup, which looks a lot like the Arc of the Covenant with the opposing angels and cross that rests at the top. She sits at a stone throne, adorned with fish, sea-nymphs and shells. She is dressed in a light blue gown, and wears a cape that mirrors the movement of the sea. She stares intensely at the cup she carries, which holds an innate truth only she is privy to. She represents all that is emotionaly, much like the goddess Aphrodite who was born from the ocean in a shell. She also represents the depth of the unconscious and the strength of intuition, reflected by the water present in the card commonly representing the subconscious in the tarot. Her feminine prowess speaks volumes about the power of intuition and inner spiritual strength.

But drawing this beautifully powerful woman in reverse is a slightly negative message that everything is not going all that well with internal emotions and spiritual expression. For me, I am sure this is representing the bottled up spirituality that I still harbor in my heart, and my lack of discipline to reveal my innermost desires and practices (namely my witchcraft and magical inclinations). I am subverting the Queen's power and influence in my life, supressing the will of my subconscious and the inner strength that wishes to show its colors to people so dearly. I am finding that this feeling is beginning to show itself in the form of emotional confrontation with my mother, since I am most convinced that she will show me the least amount of respect and regard in terms of my religious choices. This confrontational drive is draining the life and spirit from my fellow family members and making the motorhome trip more exahusting and draining than it should be. Everyone is not in sync with one another, which is making everyone a victim of stress and demoralization. I know that most of this spiritual and emotional distress is probably a side-effect of my spiritual shyness. Will they accept me for what I want to be? Will this practice I have been coming into form into a family feud and come to divide my filial ties into two?

I still do not know. But I must know begin to consider the time at which I must reveal myself to my family, as potentially something that they do not know me to presently be. It is shocking to know that family members and daughters and sons and siblings change, but it is an ever present force that dominates us all.

Single Card Reading 22 June 2015--The Devil (reversed)

Merry meet and good evening to all!

I have to apologize for the lack of discipline in my day-to-day blogging habits, and I will be sure to not to make a habit of this in the future, but being in a motor home and in constant movement makes the whole internet issue much more prevalent. I've been moving constantly for four days, and moving between my house and college after graduation has been strenuous and long (and I have to move again to Virginia in August). But we are camping at a location with wi-fi on site (yes!!!!), and I was thrilled to once more type away on my computer!

Now, my time on my trip has been great, but the thing about motor home traveling is the confined space that people are reduced to during travel can cause uncommonly large amounts of stress. The smells travel throughout the motor home quickly (both good and bad) and noise within the vehicle travel throughout its length pretty easily as well. There are not many secrets within the walls of a motor home, and little can be hid from fellow motor mates. I have been confined in several manners in this regard, and my spirituality has somewhat suffered. Knowing how my mother has probably been discovering my beliefs little by little, and my little sister and dad figuring out that I blog for a lot of my private time, but not revealing my blogs in public discussion, I figure it is just a matter of time until they pop the question or stumble onto a book that tells all.

This confining feeling I believe has transcended into my card reading for the day--I have drawn The Devil in reverse. The Devil is one of those cards that are made out to be worse than what is intended, and I feel that drawing this card for many is a terrible sign that things are going sour, an evil omen of an adversary, or a premonition of a relationship going foul.The reality that this card proposes is not altogether positive, but I do see worth and goodness that can be resulting because of the effects of this card.

Nonetheless, The Devil is a dark card in appearance and can be intimidating to the first-time reader. The Devil himself sits elevated in darkness, waving his hand in salutation. He has an upside down pentagram in between his goat horns symbolizing darker variants of magic, and his mangy feet shows him perched on a dark stone which has two human beings chained to it. These humans are specifically integral to the message the card tells us.

If you examine closely the chains that "bind" the man and woman, you begin to see how easily they could lift the chain of their shoulders and escape from their hellish fate. But they don't; they chose to remain in their suffering and grief, amidst the presence of the devil as his playthings. We would wonder, "why would they chose to willingly suffer so greatly?" The sad truth is we do this all the time. We confine ourselves in small spaces or in shackles that are weak and fragile, and yet we make the situation of confinement and entrapment to be more omnipotent than what seems to be the case. And we all suffer, within the links and chains we build for ourselves, out of feelings of self-pity, inequity and grief.

I know exactly what this card is referring to in my life. The Devil hypnotically stares at me pointedly referring to the obvious nature of my spirituality; I'm confining myself in a closet of spiritual seclusion out of fear of rejection. Drawn in reverse, The Devil is a sign that the individual is now beginning to realize their self confinement and seek to break free. This is a reflection of my budding strength and resolution to do what I need to do to better my spiritual experience.

And yet with this obvious sign practically shouting what I have known I need to do for a while now, I still need more time. I know that there is sometimes a grace and a wisdom that comes with withholding information and action from execution. I feel that slowly revealing my faith in a way that is slow and soft, I might be able to better reciprocate feelings of understanding and tolerance from each of my family members. In a group, they may grow to be too formidable, and I could lose my voice and ability to act. I know that I might have needed to act on this feeling sooner, and now it is becoming painfully obvious to me that I need to act in alignment with what the cards represent and teach. I hope to be strengthened by my cards and spiritual experiences enough to meet this challenge with a resolute heart and willful conscience.

If any one else has issues in their own personal closet, whether it be sexual expression, personality, fetish, or taboo inclinations, its okay! Everyone has a closet, and even if you have just left your own, there is always another one we build for ourselves that markedly becomes significant and heavy in the future. Those reading this, learn from the lesson the devil tells us so bluntly. He tells you, "look at these fools that have bound themselves to my will and darkness, and yet behold another comes to bind themselves to me." He shakes his head in disappointment and disregard, "take up your arms and resist, for there is a world of life beyond my dark home, and it calls for you to go there."

Listen to the voices and your inner guide, each calling, needing, desiring to be brought to the light. Because we do not belong in closets and dark places; we were made to play in the sun's rays, sing in the moon's beams, play in the grass and swim in the lakes. And the world is more than ready to host you.

Merry part.

Recent Happenings: The Summer Solstice and the Ace of Cups!

As I learn more about what it means to be pagan, new things continue to surprise me as they pop up seemingly out of nowhere in the pagan community! This is also how I was introduced to the celebration of the Summer Solstice.

The Summer Solstice is the first day of summer (which happens to be this Sunday, June 21st), which notably has the most sunlight hours than all the rest of the days in the year--hence the Latin translation of solstitum meaning "sun stands still." It is a magical occasion, marking a time of harvest fertility, and celebration.

I am now learning about the different religious and spiritual celebrations that the pagan culture has commemorated for a very long time, and its a lot like learning a whole entire culture from square one. Being raised in the Christian household, I was never exposed to solstices, retrogrades, full moons, or any other spiritually rich moment besides going to church on Sundays. It absolutely amazes me that so much has been happening in the world around me to which I was absolutely blind and deaf; I was completely unaware that this sort of stuff even existed! I often feel nowadays that every full moon has the potential to be a Halloween and every Solstice to be a Thanksgiving or Christmas. I am giddy with delight.

But I decided to check out how the Solstice is celebrated throughout the world and amidst the rich and diverse pagan culture I found the Druids to be the most interesting in their celebration of the Summer Solstice. They gather at a histroically and spiritually mysterious location called Stonehenge, whose construction was thought to be in response to the sky at night or to the sun's movement patters. They perform several sun rituals to celebrate the purification and renewal of the sun as it dances in the sky. Throughout the world there are feasts, parties, gatherings, and of course the pagan recognition of this annual event.

I wanted to add my portion to the mix and see if I could use the tarot deck to celebrate the fantastic season of summer, and the wonderful joy and harvest that comes with it.

As with any other intuitive field, there seems to be a variety of responses that come with the territory of tarot, so not everyone agrees on which tarot card suite technically represents a specific season or not, but I have found that this is how it works for me:

Swords: Swords for me are a suite of movement, air, dynamicism, and sharp precision. The sword cards are graceful and elegant, like a sword, and like to speak in both quiet whispers and loud shouts. I find this suite to be representative of Spring, a season of gracefulness, dynamic growth and development. This suite represents the cardinal direction of East.

Wands: Wands are the representation of fire, strength and diligence, determination and wittiness. They are blunt, sometimes ineffective, but always available to give support. This suite represents the "peasantry," or working class, which are blunt people but bawdy and kind all the same. A place of acceptance and diversity where people live in the moment and strive with one another makes a heart warm with appreciation of life. However, I do not see this suite as representative of summer, I envision these cards to be a herald of winter's arrival, and thus prefer to use these cards in respect to the season of autumn. And the red leaves that fall off of all the trees look a lot like little dropping flames if you ask me. These cards refer to the cardinal direction of South.

Pentacles: Pentacles are representative of the element earth, and mark a people of buisness that dip into the wealth of the earth and use it to fill their pockets. Pentacles often have to do with financial wealth, and I have noticed that even though the wildlife sleeps in the winter, the humans have made enough progress to use money to combat the nasty effects winter may have for homes, work and personal life. Therefore, I see Pentacles as representative of winter, the solemnity of peace and hard work and groundedness. This is representative of the Northern direction.

Cups: I know, its counter intuitive to think that a suite of cards dealing in water represent the heated and dry season of summer. But, looking beyond just the element in question, the suite of cups lends a little more understanding to the entire scheme of summer and connects to the season in its own special way. Cups are the suite of spirituality and depth of meaning. Summer is a mysterious season--winter is a season for solemnity and memory, spring for rebirth and life, and autumn in preparation for death and better understanding, but summer doesn't operate on absolutes. Summer is most known for harvest, but also is known for its heat, turmoil, deprivation, but also is known for celebration, camaraderie and romance. Summer in some places can be hellish, while others can be a heaven. For me (summer being my favorite season), I think of summer as the "afterlife," where as the other seasons are various stages of life. Winter is conception, Spring is life, Autumn is death, and Summer is the ethereal. I think cups are therefore more than suitable for such a spiritual season, and represent the cardinal direction of West.

From my research on the internet (consisting of two websites: a forum discussion and a blog post) I have found that the Ace of Cups is a card that distinctly represents the Summer Solstice.

The Ace of Cups is (in the rider waite deck) is a card that shows a hand (seemingly conjured from a cloud at the wayside) holding a cup with a "W" inscribed on the cup, a dove kissing a wafer with a cross on it descends to place its luggage within the cup. Five streams overflow from the cup, filling a calm and supple pond below. The flakes that surround the hand that fall to the ground are water droplets.

Water in the tarot almost always refers to the unconscious--just like water we always see the surface of our subconscious in our own conscious actions and decisions, but often the motives or developmental process of this evident observation is unknown, hidden in the depths and shadows of the water. Water also refers to spirituality; we are cleansed by water physically inside and out, and water is used in several ceremonies to indicate a spiritual cleansing (baptism, holy water, initiation rituals for witches). The hand itself takes on the meaning, therefore, of consciousness, intuition and spiritual wisdom. Rays spill from the hand, indicating enlightenment and reverence. The dove dives down from heaven, indicating a heavenly apparition in the form of spirit to mix within the presence of our consciousness to make our own spirituality.

Upright the card could mean any positive spiritual or emotional experience--romance, compassion, love, brotherhood, enlightenment or growth. This card also hearkens to its astrological sign Cancer and grants a boon of creativity and imagination. Reverse, the card could mean negative emotional or spiritual experiences such as repressiveness, ignorance, stagnant tendencies and lack of creative ability. This card represents the epitome of spiritual and emotional achievement--inner peace.

I look forward to this Solstice with delight, and gladly seek to find my inner peace within this season. I am eager to see what this season has in store for me. Does this season have anything exciting planned for you? Please do share! Summer escapades and expeditions are always the most opportune time for growth and deliverance; your good fate and well-being forever permeates my thoughts.

Witches don't have warts . . .

Hello again! Took my final and feel really good about it! One of the first to finish and did it in record time (and hour and 30 minutes). I must say that reading tarot cards and writing before taking my final was definitely a great preparation for some critical thinking, and I am going to make that a habit as time progresses.

I would like to take a moment to talk about something I have found to be very significant in the new life decision I have made in being a witch. Now, I would like to clarify that my being a witch does not make me a Wiccan. I still need to find out what a Wiccan believes and how they worship before claiming their religion as my own. I do have the fundamentals for being a witch, and am indeed someone that hearkens to the call of the wild like any other witch before me. I appreciate nature and the world around me more than my counterparts, and can relate to and see worth in creatures and things that most people take for granted. Yes, I am most definitely a witch; I can stick to my guns in that regard.

The definition I found immediately provided on the web.
Does it seem adequate to you?

But something that has been troubling me as I have been researching my new identity and trying to network (through other blogs and in social networking groups); I have found a common ground for complaint as a witch in a majority monotheistic society. With any minority in society comes the stereotypes that are attributed to them; most of them are racial or class sensitive, but I have just begun to find it is very religious as well. None of these stereotypes are deserved or even logical--most are founded on fear and negative stigmas, not logic and well-tested hypothesis. But because these stereotypes and stigmas have withstood a long duration of time without much rebuttal (in some cases the rebuttal is seen as insignificant and is therefore ignored), they have been accepted as the authority in regards to their subject matter. Today I saw a whole bunch on social media about the Pool Party in Texas and the police officer that exhibited strong racism towards African Americans present at the party. Stereotypes can do significant damage in the perception of a single characteristic in society, even if you did not have a choice in the matter!

And this brings me to my main point; witches have their fair share of stereotypes. I could best demonstrate this with an example: if someone would have approached me before coming to college and ask me "What do you think when I say the word witch?" I would have probably giggled awkwardly and said "Well, its a Halloween costume isn't it?"

I admit to my very sheltered life as a child and wear my early childhood like a brand on my forehead. I make it no secret (even if this happens to be news to you) that I lived my life out as a devout Christian that believed there was only one way for me to celebrate my spirituality. I never watched the news, loved Disneyland (still do, that place is full of magic!), never left the house except for work and obligations, focused on AP classes and academics, never considered drugs to be within my reach, and most definitely never considered changing my spirituality. I loved my childhood, and covet it more than I probably should. Now that I am older and have been able to take a step away from my home life through sheer distance and exposure, I have been able to identify where my life was restricted and where my parents were probably wrong in their actions at home.

An example of where a white, middle-class family like mine could go wrong was in the sex-ed I received from my family. Here was the gist of it--I didn't have sex, and shouldn't even consider it. My mom would fill my head with thoughts that men, even boys, were disgusting creatures that had no buisness interacting with me on a level greater than strict friendship. I believe that kids that seek out relationships when they are in elementary and middle school probably should have everything explained very clearly for them to understand exactly what relationships are like in the real world (something they shouldn't make a priority ever, but can be experienced when both or all individuals participating are consensual and mature enough).Not only was I discouraged from expressing my sexuality, I was also told that any other sexuality besides heterosexuality was wrong, and I was not allowed to express this.

Some examples of stereotypes in America based on race

Now that I have had time to experience my identity without the influence of my parents, I have seen that I am in fact more bisexual than heterosexual (go me for being different!). I also have a better understanding of sex and gender through the classes I have taken through college, as well as my own experiences of dealing with it. I just wish I was exposed to all of this before I embarked on my journey in college. As a result of all the dramatic changes that have occurred, I have returned home a different person, resulting in my family feeling betrayal because of my experimentation and shift in identity.

Everything that my culture or religion or parents deemed as extreme or counter culture was shut down, and I was not allowed the chance to experience these things for myself. Of course, a child doesn't need to be deciding whether they are into BDSM or orgy style sex, nor do they need to consider political activism and feminist theories like adults do. In fact, that stuff can be extremely confusing for children. Knowing everything about the world can destroy the childish spirit of innocence and magick that we all are capable of at a young age. But what I did not approve of was how intolerant of my experimentation and learning of different aspects of life and culture was received by my family.

My mother was absolutely shocked that I would have sex outside of a committed relationship, not to mention she has no clue that I can be attracted to women in addition to men. She felt betrayed that everything she instilled in me was not completely written in stone, and when it came down to it I did not have the same ideal of values as she did. She felt like she didn't know me anymore, that my having sex changed me to a more profound extent than before conceived. I wasn't Nikki anymore, I was a stranger in her house that lived abhorrently in sin.

This whole issue of sex and sexuality is a result of deeply-rooted stereotypes of women in American society, a new topic I could devote a whole other blog post to. It is unfair to have people tell you that everything you believe is wrong, and has no consequential meaning as a result. I was shut down, left out, ostracized and the subject of contempt just for being different.

Being a witch is no different. Witches have been the victims of hate and ignorance for as long as the Christian religion has been in power. They have been terrorized, killed, tortured and disrespected. A witch's identity has been devalued to the point of being completely absent in modern society. Not everyone can identify a witch and their beliefs accurately like they could a Christian or Buddhist. The word has been restricted to a costume worn on Halloween or in shows for contemporary fantasy fascination. There couldn't possibly be a witch that really casts spells and dances in the moonlight, that would be crazy! But the reality is the modern witch is much different than what American culture perceives them to be.

Therefore I would like to point out for any viewers that do not understand what a witch is:

1. We don't have warts or long noses; and we certainly don't make a point to cackle all the time.

Witches are not some strange and eccentric characters that dress and look like the Witch in Wizard of OZ (though there might be those out there that attempt to--the point is not all of us do). We dress, act, laugh, cry, get angry, and grieve just like any other human being. If you were to try and pick one out from a crowd of people, chances are you wouldn't be able to. There is nothing amazing, crazy, or obvious that defines a witch.

2. We do not worship Satan and demons as much as contemporary religions/authorities would like you to believe.

The thing about witches is normally we don't worship devils. As I understand it, they worship nature, spirits and gods/goddesses that have been recognized in religions all around the world, even deities that are not commonly worshiped anymore. I know I have no intention to worship demons or evil spirits because that is not the religion I want for myself--I am a positive person that likes to reciprocate that attitude through everything I do, including my religion. I have not had sex with the devil, don't plan on casting curses and negative hexes on people, and don't plan on being a menace to society. I only want to experience my spirituality and live in a way that I feel is more attuned to who I am.

3. It is a livelihood as much as it is a religion.

I don't mean livelihood as in an occupation, more like it defines the way people perceive the world around us, enough to make a constant impact on how people act and live on a daily basis. After making the switch, I now try to fit meditation into my daily routine, and always seek to identify with the environment around me in a more spiritual manner than previously. I have also begun to be more environmentally conscious. Because being a witch makes me want to commune with nature more, I am always filled with the temptation of walking barefoot through grass, lying down and napping under trees, and listening to the rain and sound of ocean waves. I have become so much more sensitive to my surroundings that I have to surround myself with mass amounts of people and energy to dull myself enough to write or study; I find myself distracted and deep in thought while in solitude and invested in others when perhaps I know my roommates are in the room talking adjacent to me. I have never felt so alive and naked to what happens around me; being a witch has changed how I interact with the world. And I love it.



So there you have it. Being a witch doesn't make me any different from any other human on this world, other than my faith and expression thereof. I can be nice and considerate or as stupid and reckless as any other person I know. I can do any job, and will in fact be commissioned shortly into the Army. I am not limited in any way by my beliefs, only strengthened through them.

Sadly though, the outside world does limit us because of who we are, even though we feel no limit within our own spirit. I know if I were to tell my mother about being a witch or being bisexual she would instantly reject it on the terms of it being perceived as "wrong" in society. As much as I love who I am, I feel that staying inside my tight little broom closet is the most preferred option as of late instead of wearing my identity on a metaphorical billboard for all to see. But the time will come where I will expose myself to my family for who I am, and make of it what I will.

Enjoy your faith(s) or religion(s) with abandon--it doesn't matter if you're Sikh, Buddhist, Christian, Wiccan, Deist, Satanist or a combination of religions. I believe that modern society is a ways off from being tolerant and progressive enough to practice this theory, but I believe the more people that feel this way, the more peaceful our world will become.

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Single Card Reading 09 June 2015--Temperance (reverse)

Good evening all and happy Tuesday! Being the second day of finals week, I am beginning to feel like I am drawing ever near to the end of my life here in Santa Barbara and about to embark on a journey of the unknown! Its like nearing a cliff where all the space that is past is covered with fog. I cannot see what is past it, or underneath it. But I will have to be brave and take this leap; I am positively certain I will land safely on both feet.

Tonight I will be taking a final, and this will be my last Linguistics final in my undergraduate career (Woohoo!). It almost doesn't feel real. But I am sure this reading is going to reveal what this final will be like for me. I'm a tad nervous, but sure that this will be something I will need. Without further ado, Temperance.

Temperance means moderation in all things. This is evident with the angel's foot in the pool and the other foot outside the pool, the earth representing the material or earthy world of consciousness, and the pool representing the dark and mysterious world of the supernatural or subconscious. This specific angel also has a notable color of wings--scarlet red. This angel is a hermaphrodite, son of Aphrodite and Cupid,  which is not surprising since red is the color of passion and aggression. The angel has a disk in the middle of its forehead which is much akin to an eye, referring to the psychic eye, third eye, or all-seeing eye. This angel also has rays spilling from his head indicating his psychic awareness and otherworldly prominence. In the middle of its chest is a triangle withing a square, which is representative of a female presence (pubic triangle) in the reading. A very prominent symbol in this card are the two cups, with water being poured from one into the other. The water seems to flow endlessly, without any effort, much like the course of time. Also, the water in this card is supposed to be flowing up; consider the two cups to be respective parts of the human subconscious, and the water or spiritual energy is transcending up to a higher plane of understanding. 

If temperance is a balance in all things, then the reverse is an unbalance, whether it be in the spiritual life, or in the material life. Just like Temperance tests the waters for any turbulence before jumping, it is imperative that no hasty decisions are made at this time. Take care to identify any issues in the course of an experience before charging full speed ahead. 

Not only can the world around feel out of balance, but quite possibly there is a struggle for balance inside your spirit. Possibly there is a lack of vision in terms of the future, even a lack of planning to better understand what needs to be planned for. Regardless of where the problem lies, there is unrest in you and your life, and it is time to take control of the circumstances presented before you and make things right again. Uncertainty towards any one thing is a key indication that there is a lack of balance in your life--what makes you uncomfortable and doubtful in your heart?

There might be a lack of balance in a relationship. And this can be in relationships as mundane as a person who sits next to you at work or a sibling, or as extreme as a spouse or partner that is causing havoc in your emotional and personal life. There is a conflict of interests, inability to express individuality simultaneously; the relationship does not seem to flow right.

This marvelous and wise angel looks at you with kind eyes and a slight nod. Do not fret. This is no life or death event where everything is at stake. It smiles at you, chiding you for being so ridiculous. Things work themselves out. The world around you is constantly trying to right itself, just like your spirit and persona constantly strive to be in harmony with the world around it. Time sometimes is the only medicine that you may need, and waiting it out with patience and love will reward you in the end.

But that is only the case for some of the time. In an instance where something has gone wrong in a relationship or event and the majority of reasons why everything is out of wack is your fault, gather your courage and be the first to fix the situation. Say sorry, make amends, express your care and willingness to work as a team and correct what has been done wrong. This is always the first step to healing, and always needs to be done in order to move on and grow. Coveting any holes in the bottom of your cup will only lead to leakage and lack of balance. You will never be able to reach a higher state of mind or spiritual awareness if you do not patch up your cracks and dings. Even if there is no forgiveness in return! Do your part and seek not to become a part of the problem, but rather part of the solution.

And this is your wisdom for the day, and even though I feel this reading had little to do with the final I will soon be taking (there are a few apologies I need to make in order to grow), I am glad to have had this knowledge unveiled for my future development. The angel smiles and nods in response, its headpiece glinting in the glow of twilight. She beckons you with gracefulness to come and test your feet in the pool of magick and mystery. Will there be wisdom uncovered to you? The angel only smiles in your direction, her eyes and mouth betraying nothing but clarity and temperance.

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Single Card Reading 07 June 2015--The Moon (upright)

Good evening! Its a beautiful Sunday night here at Santa Barbara, and as everyone is hunkered down over their laptops and textbooks I thought I would take a break from all the studying and give a tarot reading before returning to my work as a college student.

If anyone has graduated college recently (or if your memory is flawless) you can only imagine what I have to go through as a college student trying to graduate in the midst of Finals Week. I have had issues all over the place, and have often wondered if I would be able to graduate at all.

There was one class where I was really iffy, and I finally got an email back from the instructor that he would help me out! (THANK GOD!)

So I believe that I am cleared to graduate and be done with this college life that I struggled with so much. And in all honesty, I could not be happier. Not to show hate towards the college life (I know several people who hear me talk about leaving and look at me like I had an extra head), but I know when it is time for me to move on and be rid of a place that is meant not for me anymore. I look forward to the positive life I will be living in Virginia, and the huge steps into my newly founded religion I anticipate with eagerness.

With that being said, I have drawn the card The Moon (upright). This, just like The Hermit, has to be one of my favorite cards. The Moon is a card of spirituality, the subconscious and mysteriousness of life that serves as an antithesis and paradox of the conscious world we live in.

There is some distinct symbolism here to draw connections between each symbol and our unconsciousness. The two beings sitting at the food of the road is a coyote and a wolf, which represent the tame and wild aspects of our minds. The crab crawling out from the pool of subconscious represents early stages of discovery, and could also come to mean the strange and disturbing thoughts/beings that come from our deepest recesses. The surrounding place is lit dimly by the moon, whose eyes are closed as if in meditation. The two towers that stand out in the distant land represent a gateway into the unconsciousness, which the path dutifully travels through.

This card, as I stated earlier, is the embodiment of the subconscious. As a result, The Moon can mean illusion or deception, much like a hallucination or sixth sense. Therefore, the viewer might be in the midst of a situation where clarity and vigilance is necessary to best negotiate future encounters. There might be a great force of resistance or obstacle that impedes process that appears greater than it actually is. Some of these obstacles could be a reflection of our inner most fears or anxieties touching briefly with reality. What we most fear is what makes us vulnerable, and can unfurl even the most busty and sturdy of defenses. Our fears chip away at the bricks with long fingernails, hitting all our weak spots and bringing down our wall entirely.

Surprisingly enough, our fears and the embodiment of what fills us with anticipation and struggle only have to put forth minimal effort to bring us to our knees. All they need is to appear, make themselves known, and brush lightly with what drives the situation forward, and we do all the rest. Our worst nightmares are only illusions we make in response to inner demons that plague us without any resentment or mercy. Sadly enough, we build our own adversaries, making them stronger and meaner with the added thoughts and disturbances we encounter in our conscious life. Just like the moon reflects the sun's power, the subconscious reflects the events and progression of our conscious life.

We need to face our fears and size them up for the reality of their consequence. Oftentimes our fears are completely disproportionate to the threat they present. Therefore, proceed through situations and problems that seem overwhelming with clarity of thought and peace of mind. Seek to establish an inner connection to your own subconscious, and get to know what you desire and despise well enough to anticipate issues your emotions and mind might throw into pandemonium. Sit still, underneath the moon's dim calm light. What twirls and creeps around you are not boogie men and strange creatures, but harmless beings that draw close out of curiosity and contemplation. The pool water quietly laps at your feet, tempting you to taste its cool breath and feel the calming sensation of running down your throat. Everything around you is much more interesting and magickal when seen as a potential force that you can control, and since it is your mind, the control is completely within your capable hands. Just don't squander it away with negative thoughts, feed it with positive ones. And the world inside you will blossom like a flower in the silver light of the moon.

Talking about that TED Talk #1 (Ash Beckam, Closets)

If anyone has not been exposed to a TED Talk, you are missing out! It offers so much intelligence and little bits of wisdom, I am sure that everyone could do better from it! Just this one video has made me feel all the much better about my position as a witch that lives in a broom closet currently with my family. Most of my personal friends know that I am a witch, but I have kept very quiet about it with everyone else to avoid any ridiculous questions or sweeping accusations about my new faith, and will slowly come out as I better understand my position on this specific part of my life. I'm new as a witch, and have just begun reaching out to my fellow community members recently, enrolled in an online school (Magic Circle School, its great so if you are curious or looking for a place to learn more about your faith, click the link here), and have made my Facebook page Tarot Daily. All of this social experimentation has allowed me to delve a little deeper into my faith and learn more about why I was so drawn to everything. Now that I understand it better, I can see there has always been a little witch spirit inside me reaching for the rocks, touching all the herbs, dreaming of the magick, and feeling the spiritual energy flow around me.

Even though I'm inside the closet now, and might not be altogether better for it, at least I have satisfied my inner desires and realized my capacity to live in doing so. If anyone is running into any significant issues as a witch or otherwise, trust me, I can empathize at least a little bit with being a part of the "deviant culture" that exists apart from the much bigger mainstream. But this is just a part of who we are--everyone is so extremely unique and different in their own way, it is ridiculous to assume that there could be any platform where we all are consistent in opinion and forethought completely. Everyone has a different little spirit inside of them, colored different, flowing different, sharing energy different; it is a crime and sign of lack of respect to restrict everyone to little cubicles of identity when we could all be free and unrestricted in our expression of who we are. I like to think of myself as tolerant, but since I am human and make mistakes I do believe that there might be something I could be hypocritical about. Although that may be the case, I swear to everyone that keeps up with this blog that I will attempt to understand and empathize with every spirit I come into contact with--if that means hunkering down and learning a little bit first, I am in every sense of the phrase "willing to try."

Thanks for those of you for keeping up with me, and I look forward to some more development and learning to be had in the future as I make my way through this wondrous and fantastic life. I will make sure to share any other TED talks I find on the web I believe to be helpful and unique. Also, I will do my best to learn every day something new, and add it to the colorful view of the experience around me (good thing for you, getting to read all about it on my blog!). What I have yet to experience, and what I look forward to understanding as of yet are the dreams that peek at me from shadows and beckon me to my enlightenment.

Blessed be.

Single Card Reading 06 June 2015--Queen of Pentacles (reversed)

Greetings and happy Saturday to everyone! I know its been a few days since my last post, I have to apologize on behalf of my school work keeping me preoccupied. After I have finally gotten a full night's sleep in two days and have eaten an actual meal, I think I'm ready to blog once more!

This morning I drew the card from my tarot deck and didn't bother to check the meaning of it before starting my day (that was a mistake). After my day has almost ended I have finally gotten to my work of translating what the card was referring to, and I find it interesting how this card has characterized my day.

The Queen of Pentacles is a modest young woman who holds a single pentacle in her hands, while she looks down into the vast space before her, almost as if she is considering the large space in front of her before she rises to enter it. Her throne is decorated with trees, goats, and fruit; everything in this image is a pointed gesture towards material wealth and posterity. A rabbit, a symbol of fertility and birth, leaps out from the bottom right corner of the image to hint at the coming of new life and the grace of fertility.

While the Queen of Pentacles can mean health and fertility, and financial success and wellness, reversed she means something more negative. When the Queen of Pentacles comes up in a reading reverse, she is warning you away from too much work, as it can come in between you and your family--you might have stayed all week at your job, neglecting the family left at home. Nothing can replace a person's loving care and support in life, not even extravagant amounts of money.

She can also be a sign that you have been worried or consumed in thought by the future in terms of financial responsibility or individuality. You have been tied in thoughts about a business you might want to own, what job should you be preparing for, or even how do you go about making money without financial support from a parent or guardian? But because the Queen is such a mother figure, she also nods her head towards your family; will all this financial stress come in between you and them? Sometimes choices are hard in life, but must be made in order to preserve the ability to have access to one or the other.

She also might be a sign that a person is being too overprotective and sensitive, like a mother. This can become suffocating, almost redundantly irritating enough to pull hair out. Doing this can be beneficial, just as long as it does not step on the toes of someone's pride, which would be the tragic mistake this card is referring to. If you find yourself being too friendly or soft (even if it is someone with a dire illness), you might be doing more harm than good. Tough love is something that can go further and make more of an impact than soft and mushy love.

I find myself coming in contact with this card with something that happened today. I was in the car with my little sister and mother, and piped that I wanted to get a graduate/master's degree in Sexual Health. That was met with high skepticism and sarcastic remarks from both of them, which pissed me off and made me withdraw my opinion from the conversation (as most Virgos would do if their plan was shot down in similar fashion). But all they wanted to do was give me the opportunity to think more about what I was doing in a fiscal manner; would the job make any money if I got a degree in Sexual Health?

Of course, I am no fool. I can see the argument they make clearly, but frankly I'm tired of planning for the future in terms of how much money will I have. I want to plan my future based on the quality of life I will have. I am sure there is a job market for something that I will be interested in, I just need to keep my mind open enough to recognize it when the opportunity comes around. If you all have any interesting job ideas out there, give me a shout on the blog! I'd love some help with some ideas!

Anyways, I hope you all have a happy Saturday, and learn from the Queen of Pentacles, as she reclines peacefully in her chair surrounded by cherubs and fruit trees.

Single Card Reading 2 June 2015--Five of Swords (reversed)

Good morning everyone!

Yesterday we had our reading on the Ten of Wands, and since this reading was so prevalent to me, I really feel that I have to document and share my experience. My life presently as a college student is characterized by two words--dead week. If any of my readers know anything about college in America, it just so happens that before every last week of school where students take their finals is the classic and predictable week of death. We study our brains out, high on caffeine and any other drugs we can get our hands on. Its a week of blood, sweat and tears for many of us (especially the procrastinators like me), and this year its all about the papers.

I have research papers and book reviews up to the nine, and all of them are due now. Lately I've wished that I could have more time, maybe if I had a twin I could control, if I had a way to slow things down and complete everything I wanted to, maybe I would be able to get by.

Of course, when I drew the card, there was a little voice telling me, "wow, I sure do feel like him right now." All those sticks he carried to the city I felt was comparable to all the papers I had still left to write. I understand this to mean I should use more care in organizing my time and working whenever I have the chance. With enough planning I am sure to pull through this unbearably difficult working period. If any of you out there feel anything like I do, I am sure you could identify with my little revelation--don't feel like you are the only one!

Moving on, the card I drew for today was the five of swords. I typically take issue with the wind cards, and tend to reject a lot of what they try to teach, or it takes me a while to understand it. Its understandable; as an earthy Virgo, anything about the wind simply irritates me. But the struggles we face and conflicts we have teaches us more about our character. I appreciate the opportunity to learn all that I can when it is presented to me.

Like said previously, swords are representative of the air (like pentacles are earth, wands are fire, and cups are water). Similar to the air, the aspects of energy they present are graceful, powerful and precise. The wind is also more likely to be devious, since it can change and alter its intensity at a moment's notice. In this card a young man with wild hair wearing an impish grin collects swords near a large body of water, either a lake or the beach. The wind is strongest at these locations, since the wind is responsible for making waves and other movements of water possible, so this card is rather powerful. The clouds in the sky are a stormy grey, and are offset to the horizon indicating a swift change (and possibly a turn for the worse). Two other figures stand closer to the background in what appears to be visages of defeat and despair. The young man and prime subject of the card holds three swords, and two lie at his feet. The young man keeps the swords as trophies, the two at his feet from the other two men in the background. He regards his losing competition with contempt and glee. This card is one that indicates a dynamic conflict won, but as the scenery suggests the results of the battle could have been more fair.

Drawn in the reverse, this card indicates that you have been in a conflict for some time now, and simply wish it to be over (kind of like my finals week). If only the conflict could end, would you then be able to begin constructive healing and improve your relationship, health, wellness or stress level. Conflict can consume a lot of energy and time better spent improving the self as opposed to simply fighting with others. This card indicates a realization of your present state, and your consideration of other options.

Your open-mindedness will do you some good, and will allow you to give complete consideration to all possibilities as you begin anew in your understanding. Maybe you have been in a relationship tiff and are seeking to end the struggle and possibly improve and expand your friendship to new people. You could have been in the midst of a sport competition where the sport itself was becoming too physically demanding and you now seek to explore some different activities, pursue hobbies or even experiment with different sports. Or the challenge you are facing is mental, and you have been tested and worked to your maximum and want a break and work your mind in a different manner. I know for me, I have been working at school and I am very ready to be done. I want to graduate and be finished with all that I have to do here. I wish to use my mind in a manner of learning and spiritual growth.

Do you have a conflict that has become exhausting? Cast it off in the name of forgiveness and move on; there are battles still left to be fought and challenges to be faced that can be new and exciting in many different ways. Take charge of the moment, be open-minded. Life is too short to be spent in conflict.

Inner Whispers: How To Create A Portable Altar

Inner Whispers: How To Create A Portable Altar I couldn't contain my excitement from hearing I could make a PORTABLE altar! Living in an apartment as a college student is a struggle as any person might expect, but I know I want to practice despite the difficulty of never having any privacy or space for setting up an altar. This just solved all my problems and made my experience that much more interesting. Check it out if you're interested! Boons are its portable, light, and suitable for traveling or lack of space! Definitely a must watch. If there are any other suggestions please share!

Single Card Reading 1 June 2015--Ten of Wands (upright)

Good afternoon to you all, and happy June! I write now in celebration of the spirit of summer--solidarity, celebration, vacation and bliss! I look forward to my own vacation and fill my heart with the joys in which I soon hope to immerse my spirit. Hopefully The Hermit was able to unlock an inner wisdom for you yesterday that had been otherwise uncovered. He now waves solemnly with a wise smile as you leave his sacred mountain top to experience the beauty and richness of life in the bustle and hustle of humanity.

Today I drew the Ten of Wands Card, and its the first upright card I have drawn in a while! In looking at this card (being the optimist I am) I immediately saw the positive in it and am glad to announce all the good news!

The man in this card carries a heavy burden of ten wands, so much that he is over encumbered with the weight of his success. Imagine a farmer that has returned from his harvest and has just received the fruits of all his labor, and it is more than he can support on his own. And despite the man encountering difficulties with his burden, he continues to stubbornly bear the weight, his proximity to the town he approaches goading him to keep moving.

Of course, having an overwhelming amount of success can be extremely gratifying! I would love to be the farmer with all the cabbage money could buy, even if it took several trips to the farmland to go and get it all. But of course, there is a danger to all this success at one time, that being over exhaustion.

Be it money, awards, accomplishments, and all the material success someone can achieve in this world, all of it requires effort, and the larger the success will be, the more work it takes to achieve. In this card, the man is obviously overwhelmed with his burdens, and giving consideration to the amount of work it took him to salvage his success is slightly troubling. Obviously he is near a village, why could he not hire any workers to lessen his load? Is there some way he can ease the stress of his task and make it  more manageable?

This card is for people who ask themselves these questions on a daily basis. If you are overwhelmed with a task, how could you best mitigate the stress and make your task more manageable? There is no end to the chores and tasks we have in the name of occupation and ambition. The excess of this work can become overwhelming to people, no matter what walk of life they may hail from.

This card is a caution to those who enjoy working themselves to death as well. The rewards may be great for this man in the card (with all those sticks, the opportunities are endless!), but he has a family to nurture and dedicate time to, just as much as providing money and material possessions. If this man was working endlessly in who knows where to get all his wealth and success, then what about the people around him that might suffer for it?

 If you have just been given a task that is too heavy for you to handle, make sure to give yourself enough time and space to accomplish it. Overworking can be destructive in the long run, so do not be extreme in your approach to your workload. Also, if you are in the midst of completing several tasks, it is time for you to employ some prioritizing tactics and get the important stuff done first, working your way down to the work that is least important or with later deadlines. Asking for help is also a helpful tool to completing a job that might require more labor or brainpower. Don't stretch yourself too thin--you will definitely regret it.

Take some time to enjoy what success you have had until now! Be stuck in the present, and live wholly in the moment, because you may never know what exciting development might come next.