I have to apologize for the lack of discipline in my day-to-day blogging habits, and I will be sure to not to make a habit of this in the future, but being in a motor home and in constant movement makes the whole internet issue much more prevalent. I've been moving constantly for four days, and moving between my house and college after graduation has been strenuous and long (and I have to move again to Virginia in August). But we are camping at a location with wi-fi on site (yes!!!!), and I was thrilled to once more type away on my computer!
Now, my time on my trip has been great, but the thing about motor home traveling is the confined space that people are reduced to during travel can cause uncommonly large amounts of stress. The smells travel throughout the motor home quickly (both good and bad) and noise within the vehicle travel throughout its length pretty easily as well. There are not many secrets within the walls of a motor home, and little can be hid from fellow motor mates. I have been confined in several manners in this regard, and my spirituality has somewhat suffered. Knowing how my mother has probably been discovering my beliefs little by little, and my little sister and dad figuring out that I blog for a lot of my private time, but not revealing my blogs in public discussion, I figure it is just a matter of time until they pop the question or stumble onto a book that tells all.
This confining feeling I believe has transcended into my card reading for the day--I have drawn The Devil in reverse. The Devil is one of those cards that are made out to be worse than what is intended, and I feel that drawing this card for many is a terrible sign that things are going sour, an evil omen of an adversary, or a premonition of a relationship going foul.The reality that this card proposes is not altogether positive, but I do see worth and goodness that can be resulting because of the effects of this card.Nonetheless, The Devil is a dark card in appearance and can be intimidating to the first-time reader. The Devil himself sits elevated in darkness, waving his hand in salutation. He has an upside down pentagram in between his goat horns symbolizing darker variants of magic, and his mangy feet shows him perched on a dark stone which has two human beings chained to it. These humans are specifically integral to the message the card tells us.
If you examine closely the chains that "bind" the man and woman, you begin to see how easily they could lift the chain of their shoulders and escape from their hellish fate. But they don't; they chose to remain in their suffering and grief, amidst the presence of the devil as his playthings. We would wonder, "why would they chose to willingly suffer so greatly?" The sad truth is we do this all the time. We confine ourselves in small spaces or in shackles that are weak and fragile, and yet we make the situation of confinement and entrapment to be more omnipotent than what seems to be the case. And we all suffer, within the links and chains we build for ourselves, out of feelings of self-pity, inequity and grief.
I know exactly what this card is referring to in my life. The Devil hypnotically stares at me pointedly referring to the obvious nature of my spirituality; I'm confining myself in a closet of spiritual seclusion out of fear of rejection. Drawn in reverse, The Devil is a sign that the individual is now beginning to realize their self confinement and seek to break free. This is a reflection of my budding strength and resolution to do what I need to do to better my spiritual experience.
And yet with this obvious sign practically shouting what I have known I need to do for a while now, I still need more time. I know that there is sometimes a grace and a wisdom that comes with withholding information and action from execution. I feel that slowly revealing my faith in a way that is slow and soft, I might be able to better reciprocate feelings of understanding and tolerance from each of my family members. In a group, they may grow to be too formidable, and I could lose my voice and ability to act. I know that I might have needed to act on this feeling sooner, and now it is becoming painfully obvious to me that I need to act in alignment with what the cards represent and teach. I hope to be strengthened by my cards and spiritual experiences enough to meet this challenge with a resolute heart and willful conscience.
If any one else has issues in their own personal closet, whether it be sexual expression, personality, fetish, or taboo inclinations, its okay! Everyone has a closet, and even if you have just left your own, there is always another one we build for ourselves that markedly becomes significant and heavy in the future. Those reading this, learn from the lesson the devil tells us so bluntly. He tells you, "look at these fools that have bound themselves to my will and darkness, and yet behold another comes to bind themselves to me." He shakes his head in disappointment and disregard, "take up your arms and resist, for there is a world of life beyond my dark home, and it calls for you to go there."
Listen to the voices and your inner guide, each calling, needing, desiring to be brought to the light. Because we do not belong in closets and dark places; we were made to play in the sun's rays, sing in the moon's beams, play in the grass and swim in the lakes. And the world is more than ready to host you.
Merry part.
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